• I went to the Blue Room to get an iced coffee.
• The worker asked, “Room for milk?”
• I said, “No.”
• He gave me room for milk.

• mlia

whynicolek:

so this is what life is,

a series of disappointments, successes, failures, accomplishments—love, love lost, love rekindled, and even love abandoned

 

Little things like overloading a semester,

challenging yourself, and learning to have faith in your own ability to rise to the occasion. 

Bigger things like going back to something that’s already broken

to leave with the understanding and perspective that sometimes,

letting go is the most difficult and most painful, yet bravest thing to do.

And truly monumental things like growing enough to look at your family—your parents—as people

not as role models, breadwinners, nuisances, or the basis of whatever problems you may face,

but as people: jaded, broken, human beings trying just as hard as you to carry their faults, their mistakes along with the burden of your dreams and desires until their backs are so haunched from the weight of responsibility that they can only see the ground and how far they still have to go, instead of how far they’ve already come

to learn that with this understanding comes a sense of maturity and compassion that can’t be taught in any book or bedtime story. 

so this is what it comes down to

learning to love and let someone in

only to realize when to let go

and learn to love yourself 

(Source: kmyj, via carrinacat)

Maybe I’ve just been sleeping too much lately but it’s hard to fall asleep these days even when I’m tired. There are 10 days left until the end of the school year so maybe I’m just trying to be awake for as many of these last 240 hours as possible. That maybe just having my eyes open, my mind conscious, will allow me to take home (wherever that might be now) with me the essence of being in an environment where I have more often than not questioned myself and failed and learned not to accept that as the final resolution.

It’s a strange feeling to stand on the terrace and realize that I’ll never watch the sunrise from the recycling room on lonesome early mornings, hungry for sleep but full of love for the struggle. No more turning up the heat (even when it’s 65 outside) to emulate the toasty California warmth when Midori’s not in either. Goodbye to late-night Gate runs (literal and metaphorical) and napping underneath the lounge tables at 4AM. In less than two weeks, all this will be gone and I’ll be on another continent in a different time.

To leave home for home. I said a couple of days ago, Providence will never be home. As a city, it’s never lived up to my wants and needs but it’s true: home is where the heart is and my heart beats with both the warmth of the sun at Bellano and the warmth of the sun at Prospect, the coffee talks and holiday bashes with DDD and the sometimes late-night, sometimes drunken, sometimes both conversations with the OBA girls and walks with cats and walks in Andrews. Split into two, I’ll forever be dreaming about the opposite coast.

Maybe this isn’t the time to be sentimental and reflective but it’s hard to ignore the end of freshman year and the gnawing and sobering sadness I feel every morning I wake up.

US News High School Rankings came out a day or two ago for 2013. Sometimes the lineup can be absolute bullshit, but it’s fun to randomly search around and check out schools. Except now I feel distressed because people from TJ are actually genius?!?! The average number of AP tests people take there is 7.2!??!?! Shawn took 10?!?!!?

*crawls under the carpet of shame*

Today’s forecast: cloudy with a 100% chance of shit on your face.

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Tomorrow is the housing lottery and to prepare for this stressful night Richelle sent me the following message via Facebook:

Had fun anyway because it’s only a 5-6 paged paper and whatever??? And only like 10 hours of bio lecture to catch up on. Oh man I am screwed. :(:(:(:(:(

This is unacceptable. Fun things are happening this weekend and I can’t have fun because I have so much work to get done. :(:(:(:(:(

5AM jams to 1D.