Iris.
Artificial strawberry candy.
"Beauty queen of only eighteen she had some trouble with herself."
Here lie the scattered thoughts, loose memories, and distant remains of a bygone me.
- I went to the Blue Room to get an iced coffee.
- The worker asked, “Room for milk?”
- I said, “No.”
- He gave me room for milk.
- mlia
03:23
Maybe I’ve just been sleeping too much lately but it’s hard to fall asleep these days even when I’m tired. There are 10 days left until the end of the school year so maybe I’m just trying to be awake for as many of these last 240 hours as possible. That maybe just having my eyes open, my mind conscious, will allow me to take home (wherever that might be now) with me the essence of being in an environment where I have more often than not questioned myself and failed and learned not to accept that as the final resolution.
It’s a strange feeling to stand on the terrace and realize that I’ll never watch the sunrise from the recycling room on lonesome early mornings, hungry for sleep but full of love for the struggle. No more turning up the heat (even when it’s 65 outside) to emulate the toasty California warmth when Midori’s not in either. Goodbye to late-night Gate runs (literal and metaphorical) and napping underneath the lounge tables at 4AM. In less than two weeks, all this will be gone and I’ll be on another continent in a different time.
To leave home for home. I said a couple of days ago, Providence will never be home. As a city, it’s never lived up to my wants and needs but it’s true: home is where the heart is and my heart beats with both the warmth of the sun at Bellano and the warmth of the sun at Prospect, the coffee talks and holiday bashes with DDD and the sometimes late-night, sometimes drunken, sometimes both conversations with the OBA girls and walks with cats and walks in Andrews. Split into two, I’ll forever be dreaming about the opposite coast.
Maybe this isn’t the time to be sentimental and reflective but it’s hard to ignore the end of freshman year and the gnawing and sobering sadness I feel every morning I wake up.
US News High School Rankings came out a day or two ago for 2013. Sometimes the lineup can be absolute bullshit, but it’s fun to randomly search around and check out schools. Except now I feel distressed because people from TJ are actually genius?!?! The average number of AP tests people take there is 7.2!??!?! Shawn took 10?!?!!?
*crawls under the carpet of shame*
Tomorrow is the housing lottery and to prepare for this stressful night Richelle sent me the following message via Facebook:
think small numbers and good real estate
*prays to the housing god(s)*
Had fun anyway because it’s only a 5-6 paged paper and whatever??? And only like 10 hours of bio lecture to catch up on. Oh man I am screwed. :(:(:(:(:(
This is unacceptable. Fun things are happening this weekend and I can’t have fun because I have so much work to get done. :(:(:(:(:(
5AM jams to 1D.
