These days I feel like I move my mouth more often than I move my brain. I’m losing thoughts. No, I’m losing the power to generate thought.

Is this what “losing your mind” is supposed to refer to?

I never thought that “losing your mind” was an appropriate description for madmen. I’ve always thought that crazy people have overly active brains. Minds that perpetually run. Minds that know no limits. Minds that go beyond average, beyond radical, and into the wild jungles of imagination. Minds immersed in vibrant color. Minds in constant daydreams.

And yet, to lose means to exhaust, squander, and drain. The exact opposite of madness in my eyes and the perfect description for what I’m feeling.

With every word that I say during a conversation, I feel my brain getting emptier. I’m releasing everything about me, but I’m not taking anything in. My mind—my sickly mind—is losing its healthy dose of data: words, information, gestures that I process after talking. The colors are dulling, and I no longer dream. I’m running in place, but soon I’ll just be standing.

I’d rather be crazy, and run forever.

1. tomaroach likes this
2. alifelessordinarywitheverysecond reblogged this from irisistable
3. gaurdianpranjal said: I always thought losing your mind was the same as losing control of your mind
4. gaurdianpranjal likes this
5. pulledheartstring likes this
6. michellothere said: yes!
7. irisistable posted this